


Something About Best Friends

by jqueen17



Category: Phan
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, DAN AND PHIL - Freeform, Date Rape Drugs (no actual rape dw), Feels, M/M, Phan Angst, Phan Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-06
Updated: 2016-12-06
Packaged: 2018-09-06 20:52:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8768842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jqueen17/pseuds/jqueen17
Summary: Description: Dan and Phil have been best friends for years. But what is the actual meaning of a best friend? What comes with the title? Surprisingly, it’s not just the positive aspects of life.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Length: 6,163
> 
> Warnings: Alcohol, date rape drug (but not actual rape don’t worry), pushy jerk at a party, mild language but mostly angst and some fluff, and definitely feels.
> 
> Notes: I’ve been working on this fic for a few weeks so I hope you guys like it! Winter brings out the feels in me so apologies for that, but I’m pleased with the style I wrote it in-let me know what you think!:)
> 
> Enjoy!

Phil

I was usually rather good at noticing when people were hiding things from me. It wasn’t hard, really, especially when it came to my friends. People tended to have a certain demeanor about them that you didn’t even notice until one little thing about it changed.

For Dan, in this instance, it was his drinking. Dan was always the more tolerable of the two of us-he could, and would, drink just to have fun-but he surprisingly didn’t get full-on hammered very often. He had a high tolerance for alcohol, and loved to have fun, so to anyone else this may not have seemed very strange.

However, it was beyond worrying to me. I was Dan’s best friend, and I knew the tiniest details about him that he probably didn’t even realize I knew. Like the fact that, while he didn’t mind drinking, he didn’t like feeling out of control. So he didn’t drink very often-his front to our friends was just that. But something had changed in the last few weeks. Dan had been drinking more regularly around the flat, and now, as we were out celebrating PJ’s birthday with our friends, he was taking it a bit too far.

I didn’t want to blame just one person, so I’d say it was a combination of whatever was upsetting Dan, the party (which was pretty crazy in it’s entirety), and the peer pressure, led by Tyler Oakley.

Now don’t get me wrong, I liked Tyler a lot. But he really loved drama, and parties, and was very close with Dan. And very persuasive. So when Dan was already three drinks in, and Tyler suggested starting a drinking game, I was more than a little hesitant.

“Uh, Tyler,” I started, as he pulled Dan along behind him in the direction of God-knows-what. “Can I borrow Dan for a second?”

“No!” Tyler exclaimed, tripping in his haste to drag Dan, who was almost a foot taller than him, through the crowd. “You live with him, you can share.”

“He’s right, Phil,” Dan added, smirking and looking entirely too tipsy already. “Don’t you want me to be happy and have fun?”

He knew I couldn’t argue with that. I caught his eye as they turned back around, shaking my head so subtly I was sure that he didn’t even notice. His eyes were emotionless even as his face smiled triumphantly, and a part of my brain wondered what was happening to my best friend.

Luckily, PJ wasn’t drunk at all and seemed to sense my distress, as he almost immediately found me, alone, in the throngs of people dancing around us.

“Where’s Dan?” was his first question, and the look on my face wasn’t concealed quickly enough for PJ’s searching eyes. “Please tell me you aren’t fighting again. Not on my birthday.”

I shook my head quickly, not even really lying, to my relief. I hated lying to my friends. “No, he’s just playing with Tyler. You know how they get-they bring out the crazy in each other.”

“That is true,” PJ was agreeing, just as we heard a cheer go up across the room. “Think that’s the crazy?”

Rolling my eyes, I started walking in the direction of the cheers, knowing it was Dan and knowing it wasn’t a good thing, whatever it was. “I’ll be back, save me a spot at the bar,” I called back to PJ, smiling to appease him as I quickened my pace across the packed dancefloor.

What I found was precisely what I had predicted-a drinking game. Beer pong, to be exact, which was very simple and classic and dangerous for people who didn’t have the will to stop. Dan was one of those people.

Apparently, they had altered the rules to include an elimination-type process, in which Dan was the only player left on his team by the time I got there. And the other team had about nine players left, who were all sober enough to still consistently score points. Dan, however, was much too far past gone to even get close.

He was bouncing another ball as I walked up, missing by at least a foot and causing everyone to laugh when he flipped off the cups with both hands. Tyler was laughing when he saw me, eyes lighting up and nearly knocking me over as he stumbled over, grinning like a fool.

“Ayyyyye, Phil!” he exclaimed, far too loud for the volume of the crowd and far too excited to be anything but drunk. “He’s our last hope to win.”

I made a sound of acknowledgement as the other team scored another point, some athletic, attractive guy handing Dan a drink which he downed in mere seconds, barely even flinching as he stepped up to try again. I watched as he miraculously scored a point and caused everyone to cheer again, creating the roar I had heard earlier. I felt as if I was rooted to my spot as Dan handed the same guy a drink in return, smirking sweetly and letting his hand linger a bit too long as the guy took the cup from him, winking as he drank his punishment.

I turned to Tyler, disgusted by this entire scenario and taking my anger out on him, which probably wasn’t the best option but was the only obvious outlet for my anger at the moment. “This was your idea. Why is he the only one getting blackout drunk? Do you think this is good for him? I could have sworn you were his friend.”

Tyler blinked a few times, clearly shocked by what I had said even in his drunken state. “I am. He said he wanted to have fun, and you can’t deny that’s what he’s doing.”

I couldn’t, and he was right. Dan was having fun. Just in one of the least safe ways possible and absolutely not how he would have wanted, if he were sober enough to make his own decisions. I turned around to talk to Dan, only to see that he had vanished in a matter of a few seconds.

“Where did he go?” I asked Tyler, rubbing my face with my hand and wishing we could just leave before Dan ruined PJ’s party or something equally ridiculous. “And how many drinks has he had?”

“Um,” Tyler swallowed thickly, suddenly looking very, very uncomfortable. “Enough to do that,” he said unusually quietly, tilting his chin at something over my shoulder. I didn’t want to look, I really didn’t, because I had a feeling I knew what I would see and I wasn’t sure my temper could handle it right now.

But I turned anyway, feeling Tyler’s small hand encircle my wrist after a moment. It was probably a wise move, because I already had a headache and this really wasn’t helping things, considering how on-edge this entire thing was making em already.

However, I was frozen for at least ten seconds, simply watching Dan. Who was passionately making out with the same jock who was handing him drinks, letting the douche press him against the wall and stick his tongue down his throat. My first thought was that should be me. My immediate second was that’s my fucking best friend.

As I had said, Tyler’s hand was small, and his grip wasn’t really the strongest in the world. But I guess there was something about best friends-and seeing them getting taken advantage of-that gave me added strength to shake him off easily, walking over and trying to calm down before the asshole kissed Dan’s neck. And from the distance I was at, I could hear Dan softly gasp, “No. Stop. Please stop. I’m done,” multiple times before I got close enough to shove the guy away from him, more pissed than I had been in years.

“Do you not understand English?” I spat at him, placing myself in between him and Dan. “He said stop. He said it about ten times. What do you not fucking understand about that?”

The guy-I still had no clue of his name-shoved me back equally as hard, causing me to stumble into the wall. “You have a problem, asshole? He clearly liked it. What’s it to you anyway, hmm?” he practically growled, his face directly in front of mine. “You sucking his dick too?”

And that was when literally anyone else would have snapped. And the only reasons I didn’t were that I knew Dan was watching, I didn’t want to ruin PJ’s party, and I knew I would absolutely lose this fight.

So I simply took a deep breath, held up my hands, and calmly said, “No. And neither are you, unless he wants you too. Dan,” I looked to my right, where Dan was staring, wide-eyed, at the two of us. “Do you know this man?”

Dan nodded quickly, looking scared to death. “Yes, his name’s Scott.”

I forced myself to smile politely at Scott, stepping to the side and fully facing Dan. “I’m going home. Would you like to come, or will Scott give you a ride later? It’s up to you.”

Dan’s expression was so desperate that I could practically feel my heart break, but I was going to let him decide. I wasn’t his keeper; I had no claim to him at all, except that I was going to be a good friend.

“Yeah, I’ll give him a ride,” Scott stated, stepping closer to Dan.

“I asked Dan, not you,” I barked out, my eyes not leaving Dan’s face.

Finally, his voice wavering, Dan answered. “I… yeah, I want to leave. Will you wait for me while I talk to Scott?” his voice was so quiet, his mind so obviously confused by the alcohol, that I couldn’t say no. “Please?” he added, quietly enough that I knew it was just for me. And combined with the pleading look in his eyes, the fear clear on his face…

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll wait. I’ll be at the door, okay?”

Dan nodded, letting Scott pull him to the side as I walked slowly towards the entrance, PJ intercepting me about halfway there.

“Hey, what the hell just happened?” he asked, the concern lighting up his features in a way I did not want it to on his birthday. “Are you okay? Is Dan?”

I waved him off, planting the smile back on my face. “Everything’s fine. Misunderstanding is all. But Dan and I are about to leave-is that okay?”

PJ seemed dubious, but he wasn’t about to argue. “Yeah, that’s cool. Call you later?”

I nodded, about to start towards the door again when Tyler pulled me to the side, worrying me again with the concerned look.

“Dan’s not looking okay. I thought I should tell you, but he can barely walk.”

I glared at Tyler, my tone sounding bitchy but I didn’t really care. “Oh really? It wouldn’t happen to be because of the game you got him to play?”

Tyler didn’t seem phased, shaking his head instead. “No, this is different. I don’t like it and I’m worried.”

If Tyler was worried, in the state he was in, then something was wrong. I followed him to the darkest corner of the room, where Dan was leaning against the wall, looking paler than I had ever seen him. And that was saying something.

“Dan?” I asked, alarmed when he just groaned. “Tyler, call a cab please,” I whispered, hearing him dial as I stepped closer to Dan. “Dan, listen to me. We’re going home, okay?”

Dan just shook his head slightly, not really opening his eyes. I was really scared at this point, but not really sure why. “Dan, where’s Scott? Did he do something?”

“Mmm,” Dan responded, wincing a little. “He… left,” he breathed, his eyelids fluttering. Tyler whispered that the cab would be outside, and I said something about texting him later, all while focusing all of my attention on Dan.

“We’re going outside now, okay? Can you walk?”

Even though he clearly couldn’t, Dan nodded, allowing me to help him out the back door, into the cab, and all the way up the excessive amount of stairs to our flat. He didn’t say a word the entire time, and I was slowly panicking all the while.

 

I somehow managed to get him onto the sofa, and by that point, his condition had worsened. I hadn’t thought he was simply drunk, but there was no way I could be certain until now. In the cab and walking up the stairs he’d seemed sleepy, sort of dizzy, and clearly couldn’t see straight. But now, he was visibly shaking, sweating, and looked as if he were out of breath.

“Dan.” My voice seemed to snap him out of whatever daze he was in, and his eyes finally focused on me. “I need you to tell me what happened with Scott.”

“N… nothing,” he panted, his eyes-thankfully-staying fully focused on me. “I just… played the game. And I… kissed… him,” he stopped, gasping for air even after that short sentence. I took his hand in mine, rubbing his knuckles with my thumb and seeming to calm him somewhat.

“That’s okay,” I assured him, trying my best to appease him and not agitate him any more than he already was. “Did he hurt you?”

Dan looked panicky, but I squeezed his hand, my touch reassuring him that he was safe. “Y-yes,” he stuttered, but added as quickly as he could, “But not… that… way,” he sucked in a huge breath, breathing it out slowly before continuing. “He just grabbed my hips… too roughly… and my neck. My neck hurts,” gritting his teeth, he finally managed to force out, “And my back, from the wall. But no, nothing else. Nothing major. Can I lay down.”

All of his sentences were short and clipped and breathy, but I understood, and I swore to myself that I wouldn’t get mad. Not right now. Dan needed me to stay calm.

So I laid him down on the couch, since I didn’t trust either of us to be able to get him to his room, and I could keep an eye on him in the lounge. After he was situated, I started some tea in the kitchen, doing some research of his symptoms on Google and returning shortly with a mug and a bin, since another thing I didn’t trust was his stomach. I couldn’t tell if he was feeling any better or worse, so I simply helped him sit up and kept my hand on the small of his back as he sipped the tea, having to breathe heavily in between every drink.

After he had drank about half of the mug, I let him lay back down, watching his face closely as he simply inhaled and exhaled air for a few moments.

“Dan, I’m gonna ask you questions, okay? All you have to do is say yes or no, or even nod or shake your head if you can’t talk.”

Dan nodded, and he forced his eyes to meet mine steadily as I spoke in the calmest voice I could manage.

“Alright. Did you meet Scott at this party?”

Dan nodded, looking ashamed even in his distress. I grabbed his hand again, not caring about anything but his health in that moment.

“And did he give you a drink?”

Another nod. I sighed, nodding as well. “Did it taste like the other drinks?”

“Yes,” Dan finally managed, his face paling slightly at where this conversation was heading.

“Hey, it’s fine, it’s fine. Did you immediately start feeling bad?”

This time, Dan shook his head no, but still looked increasingly worried about what I was asking.

“How long until you started feeling dizzy and such? About fifteen minutes?”

Dan’s hand squeezed mine suddenly, and when he nodded, his eyes were shinier than they had been before.

I breathed out a breath slowly, still keeping my voice calm. “Do you know what GHB is?”

Instead of answering, Dan leant over the bin I had placed beside the couch, retching into it in a concerning velocity and volume. Although I wasn’t surprised, considering how much alcohol he had consumed in a few short hours. I simply pulled him more into a sitting position, rubbing soothing circles on his back with my fingers as he got whatever it was out of his system. I was positive it was the date rape drug GHB, however; my obsessive hypochondriac side didn’t allow my research to be wrong.

Dan took his time, which I didn’t mind or blame him for. He was already short of breath, so this nausea probably wasn’t helping matters at all. But while he was mostly distracted, I tugged the bottom of his shirt up a bit, seeing the bruises that were already forming into the shapes of fingerprints on his hips. I gritted my teeth, reeling my anger in as Dan gasped slightly at the dizziness that washed over him. It was about ten more minutes until he was finally able to sit up and breathe again, but he was still shaking and sweating and looking absolutely horrid.

“Are you able to breathe? I can take you to the hospital if you want.”

Dan shook his head no, which I knew he would-he hated hospitals. But he did take my hand in his, pressing it to his face and sighing as he closed his eyes. I wondered what he was doing until I realized how heated his face felt against my relatively cool hand, and let him calm down and catch his breath for a few minutes before speaking again.

“Can I ask one more question, please?”

Nodding hesitantly, Dan opened his eyes, bracing himself for the worst.

“Are you going to be okay?” I asked gently, keeping my hand pressed against his cheek as the tears welled up in his eyes again.

“I’m so…” Dan started, flinching his eyes shut and looking disgusted, “I’m so fucking stupid. All this is my fault, and you-you-”

I cut him off, placing my hands on his shoulders and making my voice very clear when I spoke.

“This is not your fault. Do you understand me? You just wanted to have fun. You didn’t ask for this.”

Dan didn’t seem to accept that, but he shrugged, continuing now that he could do so without gasping for air.

“But you didn’t have to put up with this. You shouldn’t have had to put up with this. If I had just listened to you in the first place, instead of being an arse, none of this would have happened.” Dan took a deep breath, averting his eyes from my face the entire time. “You basically saved my life, Phil. Thank you. I’m sorry.”

I tapped his jaw with my finger, his eyes snapping back to mine. “Stop it. Stop blaming yourself and acting like I don’t do this because I want to. You are an arse,” Dan looked hurt for a moment before I continued, “but you’re still my best friend. You’ll always be my best friend. So if that means I have to save your butt a couple of times from creepy jerks at parties, then so be it. I’ll gladly do it.”

Dan was blinking rapidly, trying to stop the tears from actually leaking down his face. He was failing miserably, but I applauded his efforts.

“But,” I went on, my tone growing serious again. “I need to know what was wrong. Why you’ve been acting so self-destructive lately. It’s scaring me, Dan.”

I saw more than heard him take another deep breath, his eyes searching my face as he thought over what he wanted to say. He was still seeming to have trouble focusing on things, but his color was gradually coming back, and I took that as a good sign even though GHB wasn’t supposed to be completely out of a person’s system for twelve hours.

“I just-” he began, shaking his head before rephrasing his words. “I’ve been… thinking over things recently. Just, about the last few years and what I plan on doing with my life.” He stopped, looking down at our hands as he went on. “About us. They all end up tying together and I’m not sure I even know what I want to do, because every time I start thinking about it I get this irresistible urge to sleep or drink or distract myself in some way. Because it’s scary, Phil,” Dan’s words halted, and I saw his face flush red as his hands shook in mine.

“Tell me,” I insisted, smoothing his twitching fingers down with my own. Dan bit his lip once, hard, before his eyes steadied and the words came flooding out of his mouth, like he’d been bottling them up for quite some time now.

“It’s scary to think that I want to try this again, even though it could potentially end in disaster and most definitely be different since we’re both actually adults now. It’s scary to think about the unending possibilities of what could happen if we did try again and actually tell people this time, and before you say anything I know that’s the exact reason we broke up the first time. I’ve always been scared of this-you know that-and it doesn’t just stop terrifying me.”

I let him take a breath, keeping my face open as he continued, staring more over my shoulder than actually at my face.

“But that fear is challenged by this absolute, all-consuming love that I have for you, Phil.” Seeing the surprise on my face, Dan smiled softly. He knew I wasn’t surprised by his words-I was simply surprised that he had said them at all.

“You know that, too. You always have. I never stopped loving you, no matter how rude or bitchy or distant or cold I got. I’ve just recently started to learn what it means to have a best friend, since you were my first and still are my only real best friend. I didn’t know that deal meant you had to be forced to see me like this-” Dan gestured to his frazzled appearance and the bin by his side. “-or that you had to risk your safety in order to assure mine. But I would do the same for you, in a millisecond or a heartbeat or whatever it took just to make sure you were okay. That you were happy. Because you make me happy, and that’s something no one else can consistently do. And I think that’s why I have to accept that fact that I’m never going to want to spend the rest of my life with anyone else-I have everything I need right in front of me. I have for seven years.” Dan smiled ruefully, hiding his eyes from mine. “I guess it’s just taken me a shitload of time to realize that.”

My eyes stung from the effort of not crying, but I didn’t want to make Dan any more uncomfortable than he was. Which was an ironic statement, considering what I said next.

“Dan, look at me.”

He did as I said, watching warily as I stared straight at him as I spoke, making sure he understood exactly what I was saying.

“I know you didn’t have a best friend before me. I’m honored to be the only thing you can consider a best friend at all. But I did have one, and I’m going to tell you something about best friends that a lot of people don’t know.”

Dan didn’t look away as I sucked in a deep breath before continuing, because I swore I wouldn’t cry when I said this. I needed to say it, because it was the only way Dan would ever believe what I was saying was completely sincere.

“When Tanner died, I felt like the world didn’t have meaning anymore. Because when you spend that long with someone, their absence isn’t just noticeable. It’s overbearing-it sucks the air out of the room and makes you wish you were dead too because then at least you wouldn’t have to survive without them,” my voice wavered then, and Dan squeezed my hand until I breathed and was able to continue. “But I was able to survive. If Tanner can see me now, he’d be the happiest person ever knowing that I was able to find happiness again and do something positive with my life.”

I steeled myself again against my emotions, because this was the part that Dan had to understand.

“So what I’m saying is, I knew Tanner for three years and I’m still not over it. I’ve known you for nearly triple that, and when I see you being self-destructive and scaring the shit out of me by drinking yourself into a coma, I can’t help but freak out. A lot. Because I can’t lose you too, Dan, I can’t. I just can’t. And that’s also why I could never make myself leave you, no matter how much we yelled at and fought with each other. Because it’s the same feeling, of the air not cooperating with your lungs and the feeling of emptiness not leaving you alone. It’s just something about best friends that does that too you, and maybe we’re more than that. Maybe we’re soulmates or something,” Dan smiled a little, even though neither of us were even trying to stop the silent tears from rolling down our faces.

“Either way,” I finally sniffled, “I love you too, Dan. I always have, always will, and whether you want that love to be romantic, platonic, whatever, I’m willing to give it to you. So please, don’t stress yourself out to the point of breaking over this issue anymore. Talk to me. Because I love you no matter what I am to you, and I refuse to lose you.”

I had barely finished my sentence when Dan’s arms wrapped around me, smothering me into the tightest hug I’d had in a long time. It wasn’t the most stereotypically desirable hug, either; Dan was shaking like a leaf, his hair was so disheveled it couldn’t even really be considered attractive in any way, and he smelled almost overwhelmingly like alcohol. But it was the best hug either of us had received in far too long, because we meant it and it was the only thing holding either of us together at the moment.

After Dan’s chest finally stopped wracking from the sobs and I had fully quenched my urge to sob along with him, I leaned back, keeping my hands on his sides as I bluntly stated, “You need a shower. You have to feel as bad as you look, and I think it’ll help.”

Dan nodded, running a hand over his face to wipe at the dampness of it. “Yeah, I will. I just don’t want to… stand up right now.”

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, thinking over his symptoms again before nodding in understanding. “You’re still dizzy,” I acknowledged more than asked, but Dan nodded anyway.

“Very.”

I considered what to do, not liking any of the options too much. “Well,” I began, biting my lip in thought. “You could take a bath, but you’d need my help because I don’t trust you not to slip. And if you took a shower, you’d need my help still, and even more so. It’s up to you I guess, but I’m not letting you hurt yourself. I don’t mind helping however you need me to.”

Dan was smiling softly at my clearly conflicted thoughts, not seeming too terribly bothered by this discussion. “You know you’ve seen me naked before, right?”

I swatted at his arm, chuckling along with his little snicker. “Yeah but things have changed, I didn’t know if you cared or not. You’ve never did particularly like how you looked, for reasons I still don’t understand.”

Dan shrugged, standing up before realizing that wasn’t a good idea at all, swaying violently before I was able to stand as well and grab his arm to steady him.

“Easy there. I’m glad the nausea passed but the dizziness is clearly going to hang around. Possibly because, like it or not, your body is feeling the effects of being drunk even if your mind isn’t.”

Dan grunted a response, leaning on me as we walked to his room to grab a change of clothes. I sat him on the bed while I rummaged through his drawers, pulling out his camo shirt and a pair of sweatpants.

“I’m not that cold, Phil,” Dan teased, only to completely lose the honesty of that statement when he held onto my shoulder as he undressed, immediately starting to shiver even as he only took his pants off.

“Not cold, huh?” I joked, receiving a glare from Dan as he removed his shirt, and then his boxers, without so much as the blink of an eye. I had figured this would be a lot more awkward, but in all honesty, we were so comfortable around each other that it didn’t really phase us at all. I turned the shower on for Dan as he kept one hand braced against my arm, making sure he wasn’t going to suddenly stumble or fall over.

After the water heated up, I helped him step into the shower, his face finally flushing red as the perceived meaning of “shower together” undoubtedly crossed his mind.

“You don’t have to actually get in, I don’t want you getting soaked as well.” I knew Dan was thinking he was an inconvenience, so I just smiled, showing him I wasn’t bothered at all. “It’s fine, the water isn’t hitting me over here. I’ll just stand here in case you need something to grab. Just don’t move your feet too much and you should be good.”

Dan nodded, closing his eyes and immediately washing his hair, which was the main source of his worries, of course. I didn’t really look at him too much, mostly playing with my phone and occasionally glancing up to make sure he was okay. He didn’t take long, turning off the shower and asking me for a towel as he grabbed my hand tightly, carefully stepping out and focusing on not slipping.

I helped him put his pajamas on, pausing before he fully pulled up his sweats so I could look at the bruises that had become more prominent on his hips, clearly shaped like fingers and marking his porcelain skin with splotches of black and blue.

I ran the tips of my fingers gently over a few, feeling Dan shiver again as I murmured, “Do they hurt?”

“Not really,” he answered, equally as quiet. I let him finished getting dressed, helping him walk back to my room, which was closer, and sitting him on the bed before asking, “Can you show me where your neck hurts?”

He immediately tensed up, his eyes wide as he tried to assure me. “It’s really not that bad, I’m a drama queen. You know that. I made a big deal out of nothing.

I wasn’t buying it. “Dan.” My tone was completely serious, and Dan sighed, knowing I could see right through his lies.

“Here,” he gestured to the parts of his neck that connected to his collarbones, which didn’t have any noticeable marks on them.

“Can I…?” I asked hesitantly, letting my fingers hover by his neck. He nodded, closing his eyes and sucking in a shallow breath when my fingers grazed the tender skin that he would only ever let me touch. It wasn’t even that romantic, either, despite what people would think; it was because he knew I would never hurt him. And he was right.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered, sitting back and taking his hand in mine. “I could have done-I should have-”

“No,” Dan interrupted me, his response so strong I was taken aback.

Dan’s expression was solid, his eyes not wavering from mine as he spoke.

“You literally saved my life. If you had done anything more, you would have gotten hurt too, and I couldn’t live with myself if that happened. So I’m sorry, and thank you for that. For everything.”

I nodded once, accepting that I would lose this battle in particular. “Are you tired? You can sleep in here, there’s no need to walk to your room when you don’t need to. I’ll sleep in there, I don’t mind.”

Dan was ready to object before I’d even finished, smiling a little shyly as he suggested, “Actually, could we both sleep in here? Like we used to? I miss it.”

I smiled, walking around to my side of the bed and sitting down, clicking the lamp off and pulling the duvet back so we could both lay under it. After we had situated ourselves, both laying on our backs and staring at the blackness of the ceiling, I jokingly asked, “So is sleeping in my room the only thing you miss?”

Dan’s answer sounded amused, but not kidding at all.

“No, you spork. I miss you the most. I miss sleeping next to you and kissing you and knowing you were mine and I was yours and nothing could ever change that.”

I hummed an agreement, smiling as I spoke at the ceiling. “Nothing will ever change that, silly. I’m right here. You don’t have to miss it anymore.”

So I felt Dan roll over to face me, his mouth right next to my ear.

“Then kiss me, Phil,” he murmured, completely serious. “Make me remember what I’ve missed.”

I hesitated, not wanting to overwhelm him. “Are you sure? You’ve been through a lot tonight and I don’t want to take advantage of you or hurt you.”

Dan actually considered that, which proved to me that while his body was still feeling the effects of the alcohol and drug, his mind most definitely was not.

“I’m sure. I want this, I fully consent. But I have one request.”

“And what is that?” I asked, rolling over to face him as well.

“Can you go slow?”

I chuckled softly, pressing my lips to his and murmuring “Of course” against them.

 

We didn’t do anything to drastic, mostly kissing and just remembering what it felt like to be with each other. It had been years since we had dared venture down this path again, and we had both forgotten how well we fit together.

I did go slow with Dan, and gently, despite his best efforts to escalate things. It wasn’t really his choice-Dan was naturally impatient, and he used to hate when I teased him, even if that wasn’t what I was doing now.

“Phil….” he whined at one point, trying to kiss me as I propped myself up to raise an eyebrow at him. “You’re driving me crazy.”

“I can tell,” I winked, capturing Dan’s snicker with another kiss. However, the more I deepened the kisses, the dizzier I could see Dan getting, so I eventually rolled off of him and hugged him to my me, opting for whispering in the dark instead.

“Wanna know something I don’t tell you often enough that I realized earlier?” I asked, letting Dan catch his breath, his breathing obvious against my chest.

“Sure,” he replied, and I could tell he was already smiling.

“You’re beautiful.”

Dan buried his face in the crook of my neck even though I couldn’t see his blush in the darkness. “Are you talking about the shower thing because I swear to God…” he warned, a laugh in his voice.

“You guessed it,” I grinned, feeling Dan poke my side with his finger, making me squirm.

“Shut up! I knew you were going to say something.”

I smacked his hand away from my side, holding it in my hand instead. “How could I not? You’re still the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

I could practically feel the heat radiating from Dan’s undoubtedly inflamed cheeks, so I clicked the lamp on, looking down at him to confirm it.

“Why are you so embarrassed?” I asked, genuinely puzzled. Dan blushed so easily that I smiled at how adorable he was, poking his dimple and making him hide his face again.

“Because you sound so convincing and I don’t know how to take a fucking compliment!” he exclaimed, the amusement in his voice taking any seriousness out of his statement completely.

“Well then,” I purred, kissing the side of his head. “Get ready to get complimented to death then every single day. You’re too cute when you blush.”

Dan groaned into the pillow, but I simply smiled, knowing I’d officially cheered him up and calmed him down enough to sleep.

“Goodnight, Dan,” I smiled, rolling over to face the other side. I felt Dan roll with me, wrapping an arm around my side and kissing my shoulder.

“Goodnight, Phil. Thanks for saving me.”

I chuckled, shaking my head. “It was my pleasure to succeed.”


End file.
